When Kids Break Your Heart
When Kids Break Your Heart
Today started off alright, then got worse before getting good again. But, for the sake of this post's title, my kid broke my heart today ...
Chloe had a dentist appointment this morning. She went about six months ago, but her daddy took her. He had told me that the baby was awesome and cooperative. Before we get too far into this, you should know that I have a huge problem with taking my kid to the doctor by myself when she has to get shots or bloodwork done because I can't stand to see her get upset. The crying, the screaming, it all just breaks my heart to pieces.
So anyway, we go to the dentist's office and check in. About five minutes later they're calling her back to have her teeth cleaned. We sit in the dentist chair, my legs dangling off the side. Chloe sits in my lap facing me with her legs wrapped around me, and they place a lapboard just under her butt that extends into the dentist's lap.
The whole concept of the lap pad was new to me. I have two other kids, and I've never seen this done at a dentist's office. The lap pad is used with smaller kids to lay on. It's not very sturdy, and the parent has to restrain the kid if they get upset or fight the dental assistant.
I lay Chloe back onto the lap pad and she just starts wailing. She doesn't want to let the lady get anywhere near her mouth. I'm holding her hands and arms and trying to keep her as still as I can. Surprisingly, she is a lot stronger than anyone would think of a three-year-old. In fact, she's stronger than I am. I couldn't restrain her that well. The lady finally got her teeth cleaned, and it took 20 minutes of screaming, crying and struggling to get it done.
After the cleaning, they attempted to do X-Rays. Again, Chloe had to sit in my lap in the X-Ray chair and I had to restrain her arms and hands with one arm while holding her head back against my chest with the other. Again, she was stronger than me. After another twenty minutes of trying to get pictures of her molars, they gave up on taking the X-Rays. She was fighting way too hard. The assistant did manage to get the pictures of the upper and lower front teeth.
Roughly forty minutes of screaming and crying, my heart breaking more and more as it went on, and I was ready to say fuck it all and leave. No joke. We were sent back to the waiting room where my girly could play for a little bit before the dentist was ready to do her actual exam. Then, we were taken back to the same dentist chair from the teeth cleaning and set up exactly the same way. Her in my lap, a lap pad extending between myself and the dentist, and Chloe laying down screaming and crying her little lungs out.
At one point during the exam, she was so upset and I was so angry that I couldn't take it anymore, and I made the dentist stop. I picked up my little girl and held her close and consoled her. Her tiny heart-beat was so fast and her face was all blotchy. My heart literally hurt for her.
I laid her back down on the lap pad and the dentist tried again to get a look at her teeth. Chloe was clenching her mouth shut so hard--to prevent the dentist from getting into her mouth--that she cut her gums with her teeth and made herself bleed. One of the next times she screamed they put a bite blocker in her mouth just long enough to get a look at her molars on each side. Then, she was done.
The good news is, Chloe doesn't have any cavities. The bad news is, I need to find a different dentist. I cannot believe the horror we went through today. I have never seen Chloe so upset in all three years of her life and I swear to you my heart broke today having to watch her and hear her go through all that.
But, don't fret about it anymore because she's been all smiles since we left that place. The picture for this post shows a happy, laughing, goofy frozen dressed baby. She even had frozen tennis shoes to go with her outfit.
After the whole dentist ordeal, I didn't have much motivation to do anything. I didn't get much work done on my project. I did help a few people with their projects. And, I cooked a pot roast for dinner with stuffing, mashed potatoes, and mixed veggies. It was amazing!
On that note, I'm getting tired. So, I think this is an excellent place to stop tonight. I'll see you guys tomorrow. 💔
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9 comments
Write commentsAw, so sorry to hear about Chloe's discomfort with her appointment. I've never heard of that "lap board" either, but then again, I don't have small kids to take to doctor's appointments like that, and I've only ever been there with my nephew once, but that was for an allergy concern. And of course, I wouldn't remember my own dentist visits at 3 years old, but I do remember the ones where I was like 7 or so and my mom was never back there with me. I feel like every kid hates the dentist automatically though. Lol, I know I did. Good luck on finding a new dentist that maybe Chloe will like better!
ReplyAnyway, I'm glad the rest of her day went well though, and she was back to her normal, silly self. :) That photo is adorable, btw!
Oh man, please find a new dentist! It's a scary place for a little kid and they need to feel safe and welcome and in control. Our dentist does joint visits at first. They actually call it a show and tell and they don't even charge for it. They are encouraged to come with each parent to their visits and watch and gradually get included in to the exam. It's been a great experience for my almost 4 year old and at my last visit, she let the hygienist clean her teeth and the dentist do his exam with ZERO tears and no fear. She actually asks when we can go back each time we drive by the office.
ReplyI hope you got some rest, I know how draining those situations can be and absolutely heart breaking.
I'm just hoping to find another dentist that doesn't make me what to smack the crap out of them for putting my daughter through hell! Even at home, we can't get her to brush her teeth. For a three-year-old she's a lot stronger than you'd think. I don't like "forcing" her to do something like that because I don't want her think that brushing is bad. Which is how her mind is going to work if I pin her down and force her to do it.
ReplyI was happy the rest of her day went a little better too. She even went to bed early for me and I was able to get a few things done before I eventually made it to bed at 4.
Oh, I plan to find a new dentist. I don't ever want her to go through that mess again, especially since I can prevent it by finding someone else. By "joint visits," do you mean like you have an appointment and the child has an appointment at the same time. Then, she gets to watch the dentist work on you and sees for herself? I've never heard of that which is why I ask. Something like that might work for my daughter. But, we won't know unless we try.
ReplyAs for the getting rest ... Well, that sort of didn't happen. I ended up being wide-awake until after 4 am. Got up a few hours after I went to sleep and haven't been down since. I'm actually getting ready to try and grab at least 5 hours of sleep before my trip in the morning. :D
Oh man. What a crazy experience. I would definitely find a different dentist. I worked at headstart and we would bring dentists into the classroom to do little fluoride treatments and cavity checks. I understand that it can be scary but good dentists understand and work with your child to help comfort them.
ReplyI can totally relate to this story with the exception that my kiddo had to get an X-ray on his stomach last weekend. I couldn’t take it anymore that I did walk out. My husband ended up taking him back. My heart was broken and I gave up 😞
ReplyOh, I wonder if her school will have something like that? She's starting a special education preschool because she's behind on speech and some fine motor things. She was with a program called Babies Can't Wait, but they don't see kids over three-years-old. So, she was put in to a special preschool program.
ReplyI think it's a great idea to have dentists come to the schools and work with the smaller children. I wish more pediatric dentists did that. I think it would help transition the smaller kids into brushing and liking the dentist.
It always truly sucks to see your kids go through things that hurt them or make them uncomfortable. Had I given up and walked out, my husband would probably have had to take her back in. Luckily, the dentist gave her a pass and didn't force those X-Rays after the horrid time she had before we left. I have about six months to find a new dentist.
ReplyI'm so sorry you both had to go through this. I've heard of the lap board, I just remember my son (when he was 3) sitting on the chair and they had cartoons on for him. I'm dreading the thought of taking my 2 yr. old - going to the dentist is no fun. Good luck and I hope you find a much better dentist.
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