Today started off alright, then got worse before getting good again. But, for the sake of this post's title, my kid broke my heart today ...

Chloe had a dentist appointment this morning. She went about six months ago, but her daddy took her. He had told me that the baby was awesome and cooperative. Before we get too far into this, you should know that I have a huge problem with taking my kid to the doctor by myself when she has to get shots or bloodwork done because I can't stand to see her get upset. The crying, the screaming, it all just breaks my heart to pieces.

So anyway, we go to the dentist's office and check in. About five minutes later they're calling her back to have her teeth cleaned. We sit in the dentist chair, my legs dangling off the side. Chloe sits in my lap facing me with her legs wrapped around me, and they place a lapboard just under her butt that extends into the dentist's lap. 

The whole concept of the lap pad was new to me. I have two other kids, and I've never seen this done at a dentist's office. The lap pad is used with smaller kids to lay on. It's not very sturdy, and the parent has to restrain the kid if they get upset or fight the dental assistant.

I lay Chloe back onto the lap pad and she just starts wailing. She doesn't want to let the lady get anywhere near her mouth. I'm holding her hands and arms and trying to keep her as still as I can. Surprisingly, she is a lot stronger than anyone would think of a three-year-old. In fact, she's stronger than I am. I couldn't restrain her that well. The lady finally got her teeth cleaned, and it took 20 minutes of screaming, crying and struggling to get it done.

After the cleaning, they attempted to do X-Rays. Again, Chloe had to sit in my lap in the X-Ray chair and I had to restrain her arms and hands with one arm while holding her head back against my chest with the other. Again, she was stronger than me. After another twenty minutes of trying to get pictures of her molars, they gave up on taking the X-Rays. She was fighting way too hard. The assistant did manage to get the pictures of the upper and lower front teeth.

Roughly forty minutes of screaming and crying, my heart breaking more and more as it went on, and I was ready to say fuck it all and leave. No joke. We were sent back to the waiting room where my girly could play for a little bit before the dentist was ready to do her actual exam. Then, we were taken back to the same dentist chair from the teeth cleaning and set up exactly the same way. Her in my lap, a lap pad extending between myself and the dentist, and Chloe laying down screaming and crying her little lungs out.

At one point during the exam, she was so upset and I was so angry that I couldn't take it anymore, and I made the dentist stop. I picked up my little girl and held her close and consoled her. Her tiny heart-beat was so fast and her face was all blotchy. My heart literally hurt for her. 

I laid her back down on the lap pad and the dentist tried again to get a look at her teeth. Chloe was clenching her mouth shut so hard--to prevent the dentist from getting into her mouth--that she cut her gums with her teeth and made herself bleed. One of the next times she screamed they put a bite blocker in her mouth just long enough to get a look at her molars on each side. Then, she was done. 

The good news is, Chloe doesn't have any cavities. The bad news is, I need to find a different dentist. I cannot believe the horror we went through today. I have never seen Chloe so upset in all three years of her life and I swear to you my heart broke today having to watch her and hear her go through all that. 

But, don't fret about it anymore because she's been all smiles since we left that place. The picture for this post shows a happy, laughing, goofy frozen dressed baby. She even had frozen tennis shoes to go with her outfit. 

After the whole dentist ordeal, I didn't have much motivation to do anything. I didn't get much work done on my project. I did help a few people with their projects. And, I cooked a pot roast for dinner with stuffing, mashed potatoes, and mixed veggies. It was amazing! 

On that note, I'm getting tired. So, I think this is an excellent place to stop tonight. I'll see you guys tomorrow. 💔